Sometimes I just want it to end.

There are times when i get tired of how difficult my life is at the moment. My life isn’t terrible but there is a deadness to it. I take care of my father who has dementia. It has taken most of the good things in my father and left a lot of nastiness, at least with me. he is nice with the rest of the family, with friends, with strangers. it is draining and most of the family do nothing. No help, no calls to my father, not much contact. i feel I have to close part of myself to protect myself from my father’s rants and anger and it is sucking the life out of everything else. One sister tries to do what she can but she is in Michigan and we are in Pennsylvania. I know there are people who can but I can’t feel it. there are times I just want it to be over. a big reason I don’t do it is i have a daughter who has come out as trans-gender two years ago. i can’t leave her to deal with the difficulties she is working through without support, so I stay.

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