I’m guilty of envy. I’m positively green with jealousy over moms with more than one child. I love the one beautiful boy that I have, but I always wanted a couple of children. I’m good at being a mother, which makes me proud, but I’m too responsible to have just one more baby. My son has a really rare genetic disorder, and even 25% is too high to risk another child getting it. I avoid baby showers and play dates with pregnant friends. I have dreams that I’m pregnant again and wake up crying. I go back and forth in my own mind about the fact that I COULD have one more perfectly healthy child, but then I see what my son goes through and I feel guilty for my own selfishness. I could adopt but it’s very expensive and we’re not financially able to yet.
I ache to hold another baby of my own, and I try not to be “the sad mommy” in the meantime.