I don’t like myself

I don’t know if it’s because I was sexually abused. I don’t know if it’s because I always tried to be someone that could be loved. I don’t know why I feel like this. All I know is that the only person that matters doesn’t like me. I don’t like me. I try really hard everyday to find something, anything, that I can find that is good…that is enough. Some days I can convince myself that I’m enough, but the bad days outweigh those so much. I want to like myself. No, I want to love myself but I don’t know how. I want to care about myself the way I care about others. I just don’t know where to start and that scares me. I don’t want to live life pretending. I feel alone because I know how to hide this part of me so that others would never think I felt this way about myself. I’m fooling everyone. Or am I? I need help and really want to be the person I love the most.

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