I’m 28. My parents divorced when I was a kid. I was daddy’s girl…all of a sudden he was gone, just left. Without feeling love at home or anywhere, I learned early to throw myself into busyness . Eventually boyfriends came followed by hurt. I now find myself with a hard heart, a wall taller and longer than the Great Wall of China,. I love God, I know He has a guy “perfect and in His timing”. My heart doesn’t let that soak in. I just keep on keepin’ busy. My secret: although I tell people of my hope for love, I feel 100% that the one thing I desire most in life, love – someone who seriously cares for/about me, will never happen for me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get passed the feeling of “if my dad doesn’t care for me, isn’t concerned about the things I’m doing in life, the man I’m half of, my dad….how will any other man? Why would any other man?”
I don’t want to be alone and lonely forever. It’s just seems the shoes don’t fit, and I’m emotionally incapable of even loving someone back.